CONFIDENCE

Recently one of my best friend was asking me what is confidence?

Really a good question.

As a matter of fact, we should know the difference between lack of confidence, confidence and over confidence.

Can we define them?

What is defining? Factuality of something which is concrete...

But I would say confidence is a relative term.
Lack of confidence is common for everyone.
I can't do is lack of confidence.

Let me give an example for confidence and over confidence.

Let us consider Character X and Y.

There are two cages A and B in which we have Tigers.

Each cage has one Tiger.

Let Z be the critieria or trick required to tame or hunt single tiger.

If X doesn't have tactic Z and Y has tactic Y.

Let us leave X and Y in cages A and B respectively.

Before leaving them in the cage. We ask X and Y whether they are confident over the challenge.

If X says, I am confident even without knowing the tactics and for sure he is going to die, it is over confidence.

If Y says, I am confident with knowing the tactics and for sure he is going to survive, it is confidence.

Now we will take another case,
Let there be one Tiger in cage A and 2 Tigers in cage B.
If X doesn't have tactic Z and Y has tactic Y.
Let us leave X and Y in cages A and B respectively.
Before leaving them in the cage. We ask X and Y whether they are confident over the challenge.
If X says, I am confident even without knowing the tactics and for sure he is going to die, it is over confidence.
If Y says, I am confident even with knowing the Tactics to handle 1 Tiger, but since there are 2 tigers, he is over confident.
So from the above examples it is vivid that confidence is not something concrete for everyone.
It is something relative and depends on your capability.
Something which is over confident for someone can be within confident limit for you based on your capability.

So know your capability and then decide whether you are confident or over confident.

 

RESPECT - Miss Kavitha madam

In life respecting and honouring those whom we met in life is something very important.
There may lot of people in life we would like to respect and honour.

But everything has a list of top priority. Those who boosts and influences our confidence level will sure be on the top list.



Miss Kavitha madam(middle person in above photo), Founder/President of Rajiv Gandhi Home for Physically Challenged is one of them whom gave me the increase in confidence level.

She is one whom I will never forget in life.
I still remember the first day I met her. The very moment I met her I understood that life is not worrying with our problems, rather facing them with confidence.

This repectful person passed on 20th Jan 2007 at 6.25PM from this miserable world.
But her confidence will never be forgotten, it will remain among the members of Rajiv Gandhi Home.

I pray that your soul rest in peace.
With due honour and respect.

Oru Nadigai Nadagam Parkiral - Jayakanthan

Jan 9th, 2007 
Today I completed reading this book.
Really a good book to be read in life.
I thought I will write my comment about the book. But one question left me wondering whether I have the requirements to comment that book. So I thought I will use the word opinion/view and not comment.
When I completed the book, I remembered a famous sentence/wordings or what ever it may be

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"Even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants, unless she finds it.  And she will recognise the value of it only when she looses it".

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What is the above wordings say? In depth if we look, it says that a beautiful woman who will take lot of care in making her appearance to look appealing and aesthetic based on her physique by choosing what will suit her carefully and particularly/specifically for her. But, even such a decision making person also will not know what she wants or what will suit her unless she sees it or finds it. It is not only with a beautiful woman. It is a figure of speech. It refers to those who are careful and known to be good decision makers. Even those who are noted for their decision making will not know what they want unless they find it.

Now everything which we have a value in one way or rather. Now how we are going to recognise the value of what we have?. Unfortunately human mind doesn't know to understand what it has in hand, unless it is lost. The same holds good for everyone. We won't know the value of what we have unless we loose it. Does that means, we have to loose what we have and then only we will come to know the value of it?  NO . Then what is it meaning? Understand the value of what you have when you have it. 
Because when you loose it you will not be able to get it back and the pain is going to be 
very much based on what you have lost. Is it a warning to be careful in life? Yes I would say it is a warning because being double cautious is not going to cost you a life, but what you lost may cost you another life span.


Now another quote I use to remember is

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Expect the Unexpected

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It is so short and sweet. Because what it means is, lessen you expectation in life. It is not saying don't expect anything. It in depth means expectation level should depend on the value of what you are expecting. You should not expect something which not worth and get hurted when not got. But if it is something very valuable then expect if you are worth for it. Now life is uncertain. I don't want to discuss whether it is certain or uncertain ;). But take everyday with the belief that something unexpected is going to happen and it is going to be for good. Then you will understand that, every minute and every day will be happy and peaceful.


I sincerely Thank Mr. Dhavamani whom even though never met before, made me to read this book.

Is Love Influential

I was wondering how love influences those who are in love.
I am not starting this with what is LOVE.
Believe me, it will take a whole lot of explanation, and even then, it is you who have to feel whether you are in love?. Because feelings can only be felt. It cannot be quantified.
But whether it can qualified?
A good question. But before that, what is quality love?. Which leads to another question, is love common for everyone?. The answer is simple "NO".
Love is not common, or rather not same for everyone. It all depends on what criteria taken or what are the things which influenced the lovers to love each other.
Here I am not going to discuss about TRUE love.
Here I am trying to say how Human mind reacts based on the criterias which it has taken for loving someone or the special one for him/her.
Let me take some cases and explain what I am trying to say. But don't conclude anything from the cases, let me first complete the cases and then shape it more appropriately.

case I: "Beauty"
"Hey, I love her/him because she/he looks beautiful". Based on looks and external appearance. I won't say this as the most prevalent form of love in present generation. But many consider so. What is the influence of this criteria over the person who love him/her? He/she will also try make her external appearance appealing and use it to scoreon her/him.

case II: "Money"
"Hey, She/He is rich and so I love her/him". Based on social status and precisely if you want may be monetary background. This kind of love is also available out in the world. Obviously this will lead the lover (he/she) to increase in his/her monetary status, atleast if not what his/her lover expects, but to keep him/her happy.

case III: "Education"
"Hey, She/He has a very good educational background". Based on what she/he has qualified in education. This is also available. I think I need not give explanation on whether it is available. Here he/she will try to attract her/him by taking an equally valuable education to bring in par with her his educational background.

case IV: "Intelligence/knowledge"
"Hey, She/he is intelligent so I love her". Wait what is the difference between intelligence and education? It is something so different to list as a separate case? Yes. Education is just a training to increase you intelligence/knowledge. Presence of knowledge is something which is going to make you survive different complex situations. It is not necessary that someone with good education background will be intelligent/knowledged. This will make the person to show out or incorporate the intelligence which he/she liked in his/her lover.

case V: "Character"
"Hey, what a character he/she has. Wow I love him/her for that character." This is also a mostly prevalent form of love. But this is something complicated and intersting also. Because unless you mingle with a person, you won't be able to understand his/her character. So when you think that the threshold of the persons character is reached for you to love, rather you would have started to love without your knowledge because the person has influenced you.

Now everything is ok... and goes smooth and fine..
The cases said above, do you think that they are separate or a combination of them is going to make a big deal. Yes the combination with different factors like beauty, money, education, knowledge and character. But which is going to matter more and what is the priority is going to change how a person is going to select his/her lover.
Are you asking me what is my priority?
Here we go... Character, Knowledge, Education, Money and beauty.
With Character the highest and including it with knowledge is the very major criteria, then remaining smaller part is education, money and beauty.
I don't think that I have to justify my own personal priority list ;)