காசே தான் கடவுளடா

நான் இங்கு கடவுள் இருக்கிறாரா இல்லையா என்ற சர்ச்சைக்குரிய தலைப்பை எடுக்கப்போவதில்லை.
கோவில் என்று சொன்ன மாத்திரத்தில் அவர் அவர் வயதிற்கு ஏற்ப கோவிலை பற்றிய அபிப்பிராயம் இருக்கும் என்பதுமறுக்க முடியாத உண்மை.

கோவில் என்று சொன்னவுடன் போதுவாக நம் கண்களுக்கு புலப்படுவது வானத்தை நோக்கி நிற்கும் கோபுரம், ஒரேசீராக செய்யப்பட்ட கலசங்கள், முனிவர்கள், கடவுள்கள் , தேவதைகள் பொன்ற பலரின் சிற்பங்கள் பல வண்ணங்களில் கோபுரத்தின் நாலாபக்கமும் காட்சி தரும்.
கோவிலின் வாசலில் கம்பீரமாக நிற்கும் ஒலிக்கும் மணிகளுடன் கூடிய வாசற்கதவு. கோவிலின் உள்ளே நுழைந்தால் அனைத்து பக்கமும் பல கடவுள்களின் ஒவியங்கள் கண்ணுக்கு காட்சி தரும்.

கொவிலின் உள்ளே கூட்டம் எல்லாம் கருவரையில் உள்ள மூல கடவுளை நோக்கியே பிரார்த்தனையில் இருப்பார்கள்.
"கடவுளின் பார்வையில் அனைவரும் ஒன்றுதான்" என்ற சமூக சிந்தனை கருத்தை நாம் பல மக்கள் சேவை வாகனங்களில் பார்த்திருப்போம். மிகவும் சிறந்த சிந்தனை என்று நான் சொல்லுவேன்.

கோவிலில் நுழைந்தவுடன் ஒரு பாதுகாப்பு கூண்டுக்குள் பத்திரமாக ஒருவர் அமர்ந்திருக்க, அவரை நோக்கி ஒரு நீண்ட வரிசை வீற்றிருக்கும். ஒரு வேளை அவரும் கடவுளோ? இல்லை அவர் கடவுளை நெருங்க வழி கூறுபவர்

அவர் அமர்ந்திருக்கும் கூண்டுக்கு அருகே ஒரு கருப்பு பலகையில் வெள்ளை நிறத்தில் சில வார்த்தைகள் . என்னவென்று அருகே சேன்று பார்த்தால்

                                           கட்டணம்
------------------------------------------------------------
அபிஷேகம்                            - ரூ க்க் /-
அர்ச்சனை                              - ரூ ச்ச் /-
சிறப்பு நுழைவு                      - ரூ ப்ப் /- தலைக்கு
அபிஷேக நுழைவு              - ரூ த்த் /- தலைக்கு
அர்ச்சனை நுழைவு            - ரூ க்க் /- தலைக்கு
சிறப்பு அர்ச்சனை               - ரூ ச்ச் /-

என்ன இது, கடவுளை பார்க்க விலையா?
பணம் படைத்தவர்களுக்கு தான் கடவுளை நெருங்கவோ அர்ச்சனை செய்யவோ முடியுமா?
எளியோர்களுக்கு கடவுளும் பணம் இருந்தால்தான் காட்சி அளிப்பாரா?
ஏன் இந்த அவல நிலை?
"கடவுளின் பார்வையில் அனைவரும் ஒன்று தான்" என்ற சமூக சிந்தனை கருத்தை நாம் பல மக்கள் சேவை வாகனங்கலில் பின்புறம் இருப்பதின் பயன் தான் என்ன?

இப்படி பல சிந்தனைகள் எனக்குள் ஓட நான் வியந்து நின்றிருக்க, என் பெற்றோர்கள் "டேய் சீக்கிரம் சிறப்பு அர்ச்சனை சீட்டும், அர்ச்சனை நுழைவு சீட்டும் வாங்கிவான்னு" சொன்னார்கள்.

நானும் அந்த நீள வரிசையில் நின்றேன் கூண்டில் உள்ள நபரை நோக்கி நெருங்க அரம்பித்தேன். எனக்குள் தொன்றிய சிந்தனை என்னை பொல எனக்கு முன் நிற்கும் பக்தர்களில் எத்தனை பேர் இப்படி சிந்தித்தும் இந்த வரிசையில் நிற்கிறார்களோ!!

Reproacher

"Life runs on a basis of feedback and learning" is something which no one will reject.
But why do we need feedback and learning? Can't we go just like that leading our life?

Here comes a beautiful word "experience".

Many say "experience" is what we say for our failures. Lets not dig in proverbs ;).

But what is the feedback and learning for?

Consider a motor system running with feedback.
If there is positive feedback then the system runs effectively and with increasing energy output.
But if there is a negative feedback then the system degrades and dampens to end.

In life how is feedback going to be...?
Here comes those who find faults and corrects in another persons life.
Many are self reproachers that to positively.

But most of those who are external are negative reproachers.

Those who are positive reproachers they are helping in bringing out the talents of the one they are concerned...

Negative reproachers - vituperators are those who are with superiority complex and headweight who don't understand
what they are doing and spoil even things which are better.

Don't take vituperators seriously. They are not even fit for them.
Value positive reproachers comments.

CONFIDENCE

Recently one of my best friend was asking me what is confidence?

Really a good question.

As a matter of fact, we should know the difference between lack of confidence, confidence and over confidence.

Can we define them?

What is defining? Factuality of something which is concrete...

But I would say confidence is a relative term.
Lack of confidence is common for everyone.
I can't do is lack of confidence.

Let me give an example for confidence and over confidence.

Let us consider Character X and Y.

There are two cages A and B in which we have Tigers.

Each cage has one Tiger.

Let Z be the critieria or trick required to tame or hunt single tiger.

If X doesn't have tactic Z and Y has tactic Y.

Let us leave X and Y in cages A and B respectively.

Before leaving them in the cage. We ask X and Y whether they are confident over the challenge.

If X says, I am confident even without knowing the tactics and for sure he is going to die, it is over confidence.

If Y says, I am confident with knowing the tactics and for sure he is going to survive, it is confidence.

Now we will take another case,
Let there be one Tiger in cage A and 2 Tigers in cage B.
If X doesn't have tactic Z and Y has tactic Y.
Let us leave X and Y in cages A and B respectively.
Before leaving them in the cage. We ask X and Y whether they are confident over the challenge.
If X says, I am confident even without knowing the tactics and for sure he is going to die, it is over confidence.
If Y says, I am confident even with knowing the Tactics to handle 1 Tiger, but since there are 2 tigers, he is over confident.
So from the above examples it is vivid that confidence is not something concrete for everyone.
It is something relative and depends on your capability.
Something which is over confident for someone can be within confident limit for you based on your capability.

So know your capability and then decide whether you are confident or over confident.

 

RESPECT - Miss Kavitha madam

In life respecting and honouring those whom we met in life is something very important.
There may lot of people in life we would like to respect and honour.

But everything has a list of top priority. Those who boosts and influences our confidence level will sure be on the top list.



Miss Kavitha madam(middle person in above photo), Founder/President of Rajiv Gandhi Home for Physically Challenged is one of them whom gave me the increase in confidence level.

She is one whom I will never forget in life.
I still remember the first day I met her. The very moment I met her I understood that life is not worrying with our problems, rather facing them with confidence.

This repectful person passed on 20th Jan 2007 at 6.25PM from this miserable world.
But her confidence will never be forgotten, it will remain among the members of Rajiv Gandhi Home.

I pray that your soul rest in peace.
With due honour and respect.

Oru Nadigai Nadagam Parkiral - Jayakanthan

Jan 9th, 2007 
Today I completed reading this book.
Really a good book to be read in life.
I thought I will write my comment about the book. But one question left me wondering whether I have the requirements to comment that book. So I thought I will use the word opinion/view and not comment.
When I completed the book, I remembered a famous sentence/wordings or what ever it may be

---

"Even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants, unless she finds it.  And she will recognise the value of it only when she looses it".

---

What is the above wordings say? In depth if we look, it says that a beautiful woman who will take lot of care in making her appearance to look appealing and aesthetic based on her physique by choosing what will suit her carefully and particularly/specifically for her. But, even such a decision making person also will not know what she wants or what will suit her unless she sees it or finds it. It is not only with a beautiful woman. It is a figure of speech. It refers to those who are careful and known to be good decision makers. Even those who are noted for their decision making will not know what they want unless they find it.

Now everything which we have a value in one way or rather. Now how we are going to recognise the value of what we have?. Unfortunately human mind doesn't know to understand what it has in hand, unless it is lost. The same holds good for everyone. We won't know the value of what we have unless we loose it. Does that means, we have to loose what we have and then only we will come to know the value of it?  NO . Then what is it meaning? Understand the value of what you have when you have it. 
Because when you loose it you will not be able to get it back and the pain is going to be 
very much based on what you have lost. Is it a warning to be careful in life? Yes I would say it is a warning because being double cautious is not going to cost you a life, but what you lost may cost you another life span.


Now another quote I use to remember is

---

Expect the Unexpected

---

It is so short and sweet. Because what it means is, lessen you expectation in life. It is not saying don't expect anything. It in depth means expectation level should depend on the value of what you are expecting. You should not expect something which not worth and get hurted when not got. But if it is something very valuable then expect if you are worth for it. Now life is uncertain. I don't want to discuss whether it is certain or uncertain ;). But take everyday with the belief that something unexpected is going to happen and it is going to be for good. Then you will understand that, every minute and every day will be happy and peaceful.


I sincerely Thank Mr. Dhavamani whom even though never met before, made me to read this book.

Is Love Influential

I was wondering how love influences those who are in love.
I am not starting this with what is LOVE.
Believe me, it will take a whole lot of explanation, and even then, it is you who have to feel whether you are in love?. Because feelings can only be felt. It cannot be quantified.
But whether it can qualified?
A good question. But before that, what is quality love?. Which leads to another question, is love common for everyone?. The answer is simple "NO".
Love is not common, or rather not same for everyone. It all depends on what criteria taken or what are the things which influenced the lovers to love each other.
Here I am not going to discuss about TRUE love.
Here I am trying to say how Human mind reacts based on the criterias which it has taken for loving someone or the special one for him/her.
Let me take some cases and explain what I am trying to say. But don't conclude anything from the cases, let me first complete the cases and then shape it more appropriately.

case I: "Beauty"
"Hey, I love her/him because she/he looks beautiful". Based on looks and external appearance. I won't say this as the most prevalent form of love in present generation. But many consider so. What is the influence of this criteria over the person who love him/her? He/she will also try make her external appearance appealing and use it to scoreon her/him.

case II: "Money"
"Hey, She/He is rich and so I love her/him". Based on social status and precisely if you want may be monetary background. This kind of love is also available out in the world. Obviously this will lead the lover (he/she) to increase in his/her monetary status, atleast if not what his/her lover expects, but to keep him/her happy.

case III: "Education"
"Hey, She/He has a very good educational background". Based on what she/he has qualified in education. This is also available. I think I need not give explanation on whether it is available. Here he/she will try to attract her/him by taking an equally valuable education to bring in par with her his educational background.

case IV: "Intelligence/knowledge"
"Hey, She/he is intelligent so I love her". Wait what is the difference between intelligence and education? It is something so different to list as a separate case? Yes. Education is just a training to increase you intelligence/knowledge. Presence of knowledge is something which is going to make you survive different complex situations. It is not necessary that someone with good education background will be intelligent/knowledged. This will make the person to show out or incorporate the intelligence which he/she liked in his/her lover.

case V: "Character"
"Hey, what a character he/she has. Wow I love him/her for that character." This is also a mostly prevalent form of love. But this is something complicated and intersting also. Because unless you mingle with a person, you won't be able to understand his/her character. So when you think that the threshold of the persons character is reached for you to love, rather you would have started to love without your knowledge because the person has influenced you.

Now everything is ok... and goes smooth and fine..
The cases said above, do you think that they are separate or a combination of them is going to make a big deal. Yes the combination with different factors like beauty, money, education, knowledge and character. But which is going to matter more and what is the priority is going to change how a person is going to select his/her lover.
Are you asking me what is my priority?
Here we go... Character, Knowledge, Education, Money and beauty.
With Character the highest and including it with knowledge is the very major criteria, then remaining smaller part is education, money and beauty.
I don't think that I have to justify my own personal priority list ;)

Beautiful Day

Every day is beautiful for many of them.
Why is it not so for everyone?
It depends on how we take a day to be as beautiful.
Also how long the memory of the day going to last and cherish in you.

This day Dec 8th, 2006. Is something not a day but a special day for me.
The memories of the day is going to last for a long and long time...

Death is something natural and in one angle it is passing from one form to another, one life to another.
It is said that when death has shown its signs to us we will have a flash of all the best moments we
had in our life.  And this memory will sure flash in me.

Affection in Chat era

Affection: An word though soft and attractive, is an evil one, which can ruin life...
In this article I have addressed issue from a male prespective. The same holds good
from a female prespecitve also. Let me first give you the meaning of it from www.dictionary.com.

af?fec?tion1 /??f?k??n/
Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[uh-fek-shuhn] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–noun
1.fond attachment, devotion, or love: the affection of a parent for an only child.
2.Often, affections.
a.emotion; feeling; sentiment: over and above our reason and affections.
b.the emotional realm of love: a place in his affections.
3.Pathology. a disease, or the condition of being diseased; abnormal state of body or mind: a gouty affection.
4.the act of affecting; act of influencing or acting upon.
5.the state of being affected.
6.Philosophy. a contingent, alterable, and accidental state or quality of being.
7.the affective aspect of a mental process.
8.bent or disposition of mind.
9.Obsolete. bias; prejudice.


Affection is something abstract, but it can be felt. Let us go deep digging to this word.

Let us have 2 characters who will help us digging more about the word. "He" and "Her".

Let us say "He" is affectionate over "Her". Rather, let us say "He" feels affectionate over "Her".

If "He" feels affection over "Her", he should make her understand that affection. Rather, he should make her feel that affection.

Let me take the very first category of "He". This category never will make "Her"
know that they are affection over them. He stays off from her, and appreciate her
presence. For "He", she is the only one. But how come from "her" prespective he will be "the one for her"?. "If you are shy then be shy, if you are out-going then be out-going." is a famous line I read in a dating/psychology book. I meant reveal as what you are to your partner. Both geneder will accept the other gender to be what they are. Instead of confusing yourself what "she" will be thinking if you are shy or out-going. Make her feel that you are true. When you are true to her. They even when you are shy, she will be able to understand you hearts words, when words from your lips are lost.

But how will "he" make "her" understand (make feel) that he is affection over her? When I was reading a book about dating, I was surprised to read the line which said that most of what we are saying will be easily understood by someone based on "60% of all human communication is nonverbal, Body language, 30% is your tone matters. So 90% of what you are saying ain't coming out of your mouth". But in chat era you word and the truth in it counts all the 100%. Never snivel. It will show your lack of confidence. Guys are more confident than girls in expressing their affection. If you are affection over her, say that you like her. Here is the greatest difficulty you will face.

Even though if you say that you "like" her very much, and use affectionate words and caress her... but, everything needs reciprocation. "Even a beautiful woman, will not know, what she wants unless she finds it". It is not only for beautiful woman, in general all women and men are like that. Unless they find a person whom they like and show affection they will not know what they want. There are quite a lot of girls who are passive recievers. But I am not generalising. I would say the reason for this action of girls are either they are not confident enough to say that they "like" him or they are shy. let me complete the line: "Even a beautiful woman, will not know, what she wants unless she finds it. And the value what she found, will not be known, unless she finds it lost."

Affection is something kind of playing a Table Tennis. You need an opponent to return you the ball. I would say reciprocation is like a fight. Both have to fight to show how much they like each other. End of the fight would be success for both. But they should not tussle. So coming back to the toughest part, how to know whether "her" likes "he", how "he" is going to identify it?. If "her" does not show her affection over him? If at all the opponent is not returning the ball when you are playing tennis and it is more like playing with a wall, though it is game it is not fun, the fun will dampen and the one who is playing the ball will get vexed. I will leave this part to the readers to map to real life.

I would say all relationship are like holding a beautiful glass in hand. If you hold it loose, you will miss it. If you hold it tight, you will shatter it into pieces which will tear your hands and will be a scar for rest of your life. A relation in which you show affection, there won't be a decreasing curve if you plot it to timeline, it would be an increasing curve. Now the glass should also be able to get stronger to take the strenght exerted over it, and it should not break. It is not yet over, it should also make the hand which exerts the strength, to make feel that it is not going to shatter but it is accepting it, and make the hand feel comfortable.

Let me map this to real life of modern era. Why is words so important? In this modern world internet chat has become predominant. Where a word typed by "he" with lots of feelings ("hey how are you? how is life?") and affection when read by "her" without feelings will be a reply ("hey I am fine. How is life?"). But when "he" says the same sentence with words of feelings ("hey dear how are you? how is life?") in it, "her" will be able to recognise the affection and reply with affection ("hey dear I am fine? how is life?"). Isn't that one word makes the sentence more affectionate and alive?. (Here I am trying to remind one thing that there are people who use affectionte words to score adn win on each other, So only I said in initial part of article be TRUE, and opposite partner should be able to understand the TRUTH). If "he" likes "her" then he has to say "I like you very much". But there are answers for which questions should not be asked like "whether you like me?". "He" You should make her feel his affection. Unfortunately in this chat and email world only words can make you express it. Believe me, girls are the best recievers. But their shyness or lack of confidence make her not to express their feelings explicitly.

I want to ask each and every girls one question... "How will you feel like you express you feeling to you special man and he doesn't express/reciprocate it properly? Won't you get hurted? Why don't you substitute and think? " If you are not interested in the affection shown by the person, then say frankly that you don't want his affection. It will for sure hurt him, but instead of making getting hurted after a long time in a very bad manner, it is better to stop and make him realise it earlier.

Now there is one more thing left out. There are lot of characters which are more like a passive wall. Though she is a special one for him, whether he is a special one for her also is another question. I am not saying it needs to be conditional. Here also the part I want to stress the words count a lot. "he" says to "her" that "There are a lot things I feel only for you". Isn't it more making her understand that she is special one for him. Adding "you are special one" will make the person feel more concrete in understanding what is being conveyed. If "her" responds it like "okay and I take what everyone does like this only", though it showing "her"s compassion and calm mind/behaviour, how is it going to be for "he"?. Whether he has to take that he is not special one for her? This is also part of affection which can't be asked and people should take responsibility to reciprocate it properly. If at all, he is not special one, then say that "you are not that special to me" else "you are also special to me". If understanding affection in this chat era is difficult then how come people are going to understand it in future technologies.
There is no ways someone can enter into the mind of another and search for answers. It is how/what/when you say is all matters.
So last but not the least, "60% of all human communication is nonverbal, Body language, 30% is your tone matters. So 90% of what you are saying ain't coming out of your mouth". But in chat era you word and the truth in it counts all the 100%.